December Already?

Howdy Folks.

I’ve been hearing from a few of you wondering why I've not been doing the blog. One fellow said that he understood that writing a travel blog was hard to do when one is not traveling but he misses the posts. I appreciate that. I’ve been thinking of getting back to it the last few weeks, not that I have any new gigs on the books to provide travel dialogue and other details, but because I feel like it. I need to do it. It helps sort the days and save the memories, to make sense of it all. Maybe I should just stop looking at blogging as something I do sporadically when gigs come up and do it all the time. I just don’t know what I would talk about that would be worth mentioning in my regular day to day life. But I hear that blogging is good for catharsis. That would make it worth doing if for no other reason, just for the purification and purgation. So we’ll see…

I’ve been needing purification, needing to purge the buildup of frustration and anxiety that has come with staring at the same walls inside this house all year. After watching all the gigs on my calendar disappear by April I went into a sort of daze but not knowing what to expect from COVID and the absence of work on the calendar kept me somewhat intrigued at what was going to transpire. So I was along for the ride down a new road that was going to Lord knows where. Hey this is a travel blog, right? My main concern was making sure I didn’t go any place that wasn’t necessary to avoid the spread of the virus. The other was to do some musical things online but just what was not determined. There are lots of people jumping on jams and lessons and seminars and just about every kind of thing you can imagine. Still are. I need to be doing it too because guess what? The future has arrived and it lives mostly on the internet. Forget the old business model. It’s dead as Lucille Ball. But the anxiety about that came later. I was okay for the time being. Then it turned to May.

Just another ordinary day in May it seemed like. Before the day was over I was making a doctor’s appointment and by the time I had navigated my way through all that was to come before I got to the other side of it all it was October. Yeah, I said goodbye to late Spring, all of Summer and most of Fall. I was down and not able to focus on anything else but getting to the end of it, whatever that looked like. And truthfully I didn’t know what the outcome was going to be because when you’re dealing with anything that has odds, there is no such thing as 100% of anything. So it was a sudden turn off the every day highway onto an exit that took me through the darkest place that I’ve ever seen. It was a LOT of work, it was humility, it was staring down mortality and saying “not today”, it was prayer. It was listening to the words a dear friend said to me about mid-way through, “It’s a good idea not to take anything for granted, eh Mike?” and making them into a daily mantra (my friend did not live out the Summer). As of two days ago I am free of the hitchhiker and it is nowhere in sight, gone back to wherever it came from. Good riddance, but thanks for some of the lessons learned and thanks for helping me lose 35 pounds. I needed that.

At this point I am feeling relief, yes, but now I’m seeing just how much time has gone by while I was processing another issue that needed my attention at the time more than anything else. I see that I am way behind in the scheme of things as far as internet presence goes. In all honesty, I should have done something about this some years ago instead of waiting until now that I feel I have been given a new lease on life, got another chance. But I am not going to sit here and beat myself over the head about it. There’s no point in that. I will say that one thing that gives me a feeling of confidence it will all work is that I feel that the universe was created with abundance in mind, not limits. It seems to me that there is enough to go around for everybody instead of there being lack, of being a limited supply that has to be rationed carefully instead. Maybe this is just some hogwash that I tell myself to make myself feel better but I do believe it’s the truth.

I am hearing/seeing evidence that people are very keen to help support each other, at least in the arts. There seems to be quite a large following on the internet of people sponsoring the arts and supporting individual groups and persons whose art (vision?) they identify with. People want to help the people they believe in. Sure, so do I. And I think that most all of us are very weary of the past year’s events, what with the virus, the riots, the loss of work and income for so many of us and the really nasty political climate. I think we all need a relief in a large way. Purgation and purification. The internet is the safe space for lots of us now. I am in the process of getting a new computer so that I can run current software and apps for better quality audio and video and storage of content. I will be publishing a Patreon channel with an ever-expanding catalogue of mandolin content and also expanding my website, this website. I am in the process of redoing all my Bill Monroe transcriptions with the full intention of publishing the whole collection. The subject matter demands it. I didn’t touch my mandolins for over 3-4 months middle of this year. When I got back to where I felt good enough to play and to think about it I could hardly even hold a pick. My callouses were gone and so was my hand strength. I was terrified. But I’m back and I will not let it rest. I have recording projects that I’d like to do, that I will do. I can think of a few that are on the list right now. I have been working the last couple months on putting together fragments of tunes and expanding ideas I put on my voice notes over the past 4-5 years and finally making music out of them, so my personal instrumental catalogue is growing to include more original content that I am happy with. This year I have found myself taking a stab at cowriting some songs. I’ve never thought of myself as much of a songwriter but it seems to be going reasonably well. If nothing else it’s another good outlet for…you guessed it…purification.

So, the year has not been a total loss when I stand back and look at it. Sure, there has been a huge loss of income and momentum. The lost months will always be a part of my life that can never be recovered. But it has been filled with quite a number of very strong lessons, of realizations, of direction changes, of trying new things, of making amends to some, of cutting ties with others, of weeding out some of the chaff and showing appreciation instead of just staying silent, of re-connecting with the belief that we all need a God of some kind no matter what form or name we give it. I guess if I’m ever going to be self-indulgent with my artistic leanings now is the time to get on with it. The time to stop holding back and watching the other folks in my field make strides and take chances has reared its head once again. I do believe in abundance, but I don’t believe that a person keeps getting the same chances or messages over and over. I mean, use it or lose it. So you will be seeing more out of me. I reckon I should keep on with this blog. I’ll try to keep my whining to a minimum. I think I said that in my first blog post, but I’m at the age where I repeat myself. I’ll be going on Medicare next year so I deserve to repeat myself, that and discount movie tickets. Stay tuned. More coming from Mistertaterbug.

Stay well. Life is good. MC